Having baby at 46 was right time – who cares if people mistake me for granny

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A woman feels having her son at 46-years-old was the “right time”.

Kate Lowe, 48, and her husband Ben, 44, are parents to one-year-old Elliott.

They sometimes raise eyebrows at the school gates for being “older” than other mums and dads – but don’t care what others think.

Kate feels “wiser” and “more financially secure” in her 40s – and isn’t worried about people mistaking her for a granny.

The Swindon-based couple also have a nine-year-old called Alex and kids from their first marriages.

Ben has two sons, aged 16 and 18, and Kate has two boys, now 26 and 23.

Kate told the Mirror: “When I hear about celebrities like Naomi Campbell having babies at 50, I think, 'Good on them.' More women are having babies later and why shouldn’t they?

“It annoys me when blokes have young families in their sixties and seventies and no one cares, while women get judged for being “old”.

“I had my first two sons in my early twenties. Then my marriage broke down when I was 36.

“When I met my second husband Ben – who also had two kids – we wanted a baby together. Happily, Alex arrived when I was 39.

“Then, in 2019, my period was late. I assumed I was perimenopausal, but it turned out I was pregnant.”

Even though doctors warned the baby would be at increased risk of chromosomal defects, he was born without complications.

Kate said: “Elliot arrived safely – and healthy – in May 2020, via a planned C-section. It was the easiest of all my births and Elliot has been a dream ever since.

“I didn’t get extra stretch marks but, boy, did I feel more tired as an older mum. Waking up for two-hourly feeds is way more shattering in your forties and my back aches more from bending over the cot.

“I was also more grumpy. However, from past experience, I knew the exhaustion would pass.”

Despite feeling exhausted, there were aspects of raising baby Elliot that were easier than Kate’s previous children.

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She explained: “Breastfeeding was easy. With my other boys, I stopped at six months. With Elliot, knowing he’s my last, I’m still going. He’s a boob monster and I’ll feed him until he wants to stop.

“Elliot’s big brothers all help to look after him, so I have more support than when I was a young mum.

“And I also know what kit I need – just a simple pushchair with a newborn insert, instead of the heavy carry cot/car seat combination I had before. My back simply wouldn’t have coped with that this time.”

Kate also thinks baby products have improved in recent years – from organic baby food to eco-friendly nappies.

The mum isn’t worried about others judging her for being “older” and has connected with women in similar situations on social media.

She said: “I’ve had no criticism for deciding to have a baby late in life, but when I’m sitting with younger first-time mums at playgroups, we’re on a totally different page.

“But there are plenty of other mums in their forties too – it is far more common now, and there are supportive Facebook groups.

“I’ve worried that when Elliot reaches his teens I will be in my sixties, and that he might lose me when he’s still young, but both my parents are healthy in their seventies and I hope I will be too. You have to live in the now.

“If someone mistakes me for Elliot’s granny at the school gates, so what? I’ll smile and say, ‘No, I’m the mum.’”

Kate added: “The best thing about getting older is caring less about what other people think.

“You’re often wiser, more financially secure, and in a better place career-wise.

“I feel younger than 48 anyway. I still have periods, but when I do start the menopause, I’ll consider HRT.

“I’m all for older women having babies if they want to. Don’t let age hold you back.”

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