‘My wife offered me a sex pass but now wants a divorce because I used it’

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My wife once said she wouldn’t care if I had an affair.

We were out with friends at the time and I remember her words distinctly.

She said that sex without love or emotion was meaningless and she wouldn’t bat an eyelid if I succumbed to a fling. Our friends all clapped and cheered.

Well, I have just ended an affair with a woman I met on the internet. I didn’t love her and she didn’t love me – it was just a bit of fun. But now my wife has found out she is threatening divorce.

She claims she never meant it and was drunk and playing to the crowd.

What am I to do? What are the rules?

JANE SAYS: I think it was rather naïve of you to take your wife’s drunken proclamation as a green light to cheat.

Most of us are guilty of saying stupid things in drink, but you know her best – you know how her mind works when she’s sober.

Lines have been crossed and you and she need to calm down and look at the bigger picture. Why did you cheat and are you now sorry?

Will you promise never to go there again? Can you both agree mistakes have been made and that your marriage is worth saving?

Keep talking and sort this out. Does she have a problem with booze and do you need to keep off internet chat rooms/dating sites in future? Discuss.


My moody boyfriend of eight months demands oral sex at the drop of a hat and only likes sexual positions where I’m facing away from him.

He’s rough and brusque and never displays any affection. I can’t remember the last time he kissed or cuddled me. What’s his problem?

JANE SAYS: If you’re not feeling cherished and loved, you need to end this relationship.

If your guy likes his sex in a certain way and isn’t prepared to change or compromise for you, then he’s clearly not your for ever lover.

Don’t waste any more time on someone who isn’t making you feel fantastic.

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